Thursday, August 20, 2009

It's been too long. :)

Please forgive me for seeming to drop off the face of the earth where this blog is concerned. I think I've kept in touch with most of you personally. I started this blog to be able to communicate about the daily struggle of being a Godly woman, and haven't posted in two months! I do ask your forgiveness. I lost my message for a while - but then, I realized, we ALL do sometimes. Sometimes God changes our message, or we refuse to listen to the message He wants us to share (as a wise woman admitted in her study last night at church!:D)

So, I might as well jump right in with a tough subject, right? :D

I've been feeling lately that I'm sleepwalking through my personal walk with Jesus. Let me tell you what I mean, and I hope you'll share whether I'm crazy :D, whether you've gone through something like that yourself, or whether something in your spirit is testifying the truth of what I share.

I read my Bible. I read devotionals online. I read REALLY great stuff that's being written by my friends and contemporaries.

I pray. I pray with my husband. I pray throughout the day. I do devotions with my husband.

I listen to praise music. I sing praise music - and worship music. I sit in stillness and try to listen.

I minister. I help my friends. I give them tough love and we have real communication about what God wants.

And some days, it's GOOD. Some days, I feel GREAT about where I am, what I'm doing, and what God's using me for.

And yet.

There are MORE days when I don't feel like I'm moving. When I feel NOTHING. When I know God is moving, and moving ME, but I'm not being MOVED. Does that make sense?

Like I'm sleepwalking through when I should be WIDE AWAKE. Like I'm not engaged in what God is doing to me or through me.

Or is that the way it's SUPPOSED to be? Am I being a vessel, poured out and used by Him?

So tell me, dear one. Does this strike a chord for you? Which do you think it is? And can you give me some Biblical backing for what you think?

The picture of the cat, above, is one I dearly love. I took it in Kalama, WA, outside a little restaurant. It's one of the prettiest places that's not directly on the ocean that I know of. :D This cat was sleeping on the handrail outside the restaurant. He wasn't phased by ANYTHING or ANYONE. He was content, comfortable, fed, and on his own turf.

But I don't want to be found SLEEPING. I want to be awake, alert, and AWARE. So talk to me!!! :)


KARNA said...

It seems to me that God is wanting to use you in a new way and is speaking to your spirit. Me thinks that He is very busy doing this among his peoples because He is doing this with me as well... I've been under conviction for a while now about it and am trying to move forward in the ways He has expressed to me. Also lately in many many christian articles, messages, etc., it seems apparent that God is calling us all to a higher and deeper level of service, purpose and destiny for HIS glory...It's pretty exciting. May He bless you as you serve Him in whatever He has ahead for you!!!
i love you...k

Becky in East Tennessee said...

Oh dear heart. So often (as you know) God is working a sandstorm all around me, yet I am too busy playing Ostrich that I hardly notice. You are a blessing, you are being blessed. And you are being obedient. The Lord did not say that you would FEEL everything all the time. He didnt say that you would LOVE everything about His commandments, but you have been diligent. Its the little things that you smile thru or even cry thru that reminds you of who is on your team. Remember to be awake is a choice. Make the choice first thing in the morning to NOTICE you are awake, because you ARE. Just not noticing those. God is working in you dear heart and I cant even imagine the new heights He is taking you!