Brokenness and Imperfections

Happy New Year, dear friend! How are you? How's your 2013 so far? I don't know why, but this week has DRAGGED. It's not like I'm not doing stuff, but oh, well. :D

If you're my friend on Facebook, you probably know all about what I've been up to. (If you're not, and you'd like to be, send me a request! LORI STILGER. :) ) But let me share a bit, anyway. I mean, that's why I started this blog, right? :D

I spent two weeks in College Station, Texas, taking care of my then-three-month-old niece. This is my baby sister's baby. You know there are VERY few people in the entire world I'd take two weeks out of my December to do something like that for. :D But it was an honor. And hard work! LOL! Fortunately, the baby is SO easy to care for, not fussy at all, and such a beautiful baby. Here, I'll put a picture of us from that visit here!Isn't she beautiful?

ANYWAY. :D

While I was there, Baby and I made some presents for the rest of the family; they were salt dough ornaments, and we used ONE hand and ONE foot to mark the dough, then let them dry.

Well, as you can see from my photo at the top of this post, mine is the imperfect one. When we first made this one, I thought, "Oh, no! It's ruined! Man, if only I'd gotten her hand straighter before we put pressure on the dough!"

But you know what? The more I watched it dry, the more I started to cherish this plaque in particular. the rest might have been more "perfect", but THIS one, I understood. THIS one, her delight in the texture and feel of the dough are made evident in the way she wanted to FEEL it - first with her hand, then with her big toe!

And it tied itself right into a lesson God's been developing in my heart over the last few months.

See, many times we come to a place in our lives where we have to fight despising the brokenness and imperfections in our past (or current) lives. The cracks and chips that happen when we choose to go our own ways, to live how WE think we want to. When we allow God to put us back together, those aren't glossed over. They're still there; we may be held together by His grace, but we can still see every crack, still feel where the chips are glued back together.

Dear friend, what He's been teaching me is that our brokenness and imperfections are SO useable by Him! Think about a candle holder (there's a really special one that I cannot find the info on, so I'll have to explain!!!) that's been cracked and broken. The owner puts it back together, and puts a candle into it. The light of the candle shines through the cracks, shedding light and warmth through where it couldn't shine through before.

God's the One Who puts us back together again. The candle is the Holy Spirit, shining the light of Jesus through us to the world. What a MIRACLE that is. So, I try not to despise those things in my life anymore, but turn them over to the Father, so He can use them to shed His light into others' lives. And to not give Satan something to hold over me. If it's out in the open, he can't torment me with feelings of guilt and condemnation!

I've been learning a lot. It takes a while to solidify into words, but I hope these words help you in some way. :) Be BLESSED, dear one. Know you are loved with an everlasting love, and that God does ALL things well! That includes creating YOU.

Layers of my Heart

Hello, sweet friends! I hope you're still out there. :) If you keep up with me on Facebook, you know that life continues to be interesting. First, we're planning on living in Oregon six months of the year next year; a lot has to do with our health. God continues to open doors, so we'll see what happens! :) Second, I really feel led to go into counseling - and God's been really, really specific about it. GRIEF counseling. I'm excited, because I want Him to use me in His Body, but at the same time, there's a lot of different options to consider, and it's a bit scary. However, I KNOW if He brings me to it, He'll bring me through it! :D

I just felt led today to say that there are layers of me that no one but God knows. There are things I simply cannot share with another human being; not because I've done horrendous things to someone, but because the sharing of those things would be a breach of trust with someone else. And I will never do that. Still, those hidden layers get heavy sometimes.

I cannot tell you how grateful I am that HE hears me. That HE hears my heart cry out when it feels too heavy. When what I'm going through would be so much easier if I could just TELL someone, I CAN. And then, He whispers, blows through with His Holy Spirit, and dusts me off and puts me back on the path in His ability. Not mine; I know better. And when those times are blowing away, I can't help but tell Him, again and again, how grateful I am that He is capable of more than I'll ever need.

If you're there, I encourage you: tell Him. He is steady. he is capable. Everything else is shifting sand. Especially what you can do in your own ability, my friend. Give it to Him.

I love you! You are SO special. Be BLESSED today, dear one! Know He is holding you in His gentle arms!

Bound to come some troubles!

(Don't forget: you can see the picture at its original size if you click on it. :) )

I know it's been a long time since I really said much about anything. Honestly? I know that there are several of you who don't agree with me about some things, and I don't want to become a stumbling block to you. The truth is, the Holy Spirit has us all at different places in our lives, learning different things - and sometimes, taking a belief out of "storage" and really examining it to see WHY we believe it is painful. But that same Spirit that's in me is in you; there's a love that cannot break. So, when I need to post something, I will. :)

Many of you are my friends on Facebook; at this moment, there's a huge outcry over the Casey Anthony verdict. Now, I didn't follow the trial; no matter the outcome of the trials, those sorts make my heart sad, and it is hard to remember Where my JOY comes from and reclaim it. But I understand that everyone watching the trial seems to not doubt her guilt.

There are so many different reasons why the outcome was what it was. The truth is, it's all in God's hands now. Don't expect the justice system to get any better; as our pastor says, it's a system OF THIS WORLD. And as such, it cannot help but be flawed. It's run by humans for humans and about humans. As we all know, being human is pretty much the example of "flawed"!

I don't know how many of you know of Rich Mullins, of his life and his music. I had a personal connection with Rich, and Kenn started his Christian life listening - devouring, almost! - all of Rich's music. If you will listen to this song, and watch the slide show, I hope and pray the peace of the One Whose love you can always, always trust in will comfort your heart and surround you.

I love you. I will always love you. Turn your eyes to Him, dear one, no matter what your situation or circumstance - He loves you more than anyone can fathom. BE BLESSED.