Brokenness and Imperfections

Happy New Year, dear friend! How are you? How's your 2013 so far? I don't know why, but this week has DRAGGED. It's not like I'm not doing stuff, but oh, well. :D

If you're my friend on Facebook, you probably know all about what I've been up to. (If you're not, and you'd like to be, send me a request! LORI STILGER. :) ) But let me share a bit, anyway. I mean, that's why I started this blog, right? :D

I spent two weeks in College Station, Texas, taking care of my then-three-month-old niece. This is my baby sister's baby. You know there are VERY few people in the entire world I'd take two weeks out of my December to do something like that for. :D But it was an honor. And hard work! LOL! Fortunately, the baby is SO easy to care for, not fussy at all, and such a beautiful baby. Here, I'll put a picture of us from that visit here!Isn't she beautiful?

ANYWAY. :D

While I was there, Baby and I made some presents for the rest of the family; they were salt dough ornaments, and we used ONE hand and ONE foot to mark the dough, then let them dry.

Well, as you can see from my photo at the top of this post, mine is the imperfect one. When we first made this one, I thought, "Oh, no! It's ruined! Man, if only I'd gotten her hand straighter before we put pressure on the dough!"

But you know what? The more I watched it dry, the more I started to cherish this plaque in particular. the rest might have been more "perfect", but THIS one, I understood. THIS one, her delight in the texture and feel of the dough are made evident in the way she wanted to FEEL it - first with her hand, then with her big toe!

And it tied itself right into a lesson God's been developing in my heart over the last few months.

See, many times we come to a place in our lives where we have to fight despising the brokenness and imperfections in our past (or current) lives. The cracks and chips that happen when we choose to go our own ways, to live how WE think we want to. When we allow God to put us back together, those aren't glossed over. They're still there; we may be held together by His grace, but we can still see every crack, still feel where the chips are glued back together.

Dear friend, what He's been teaching me is that our brokenness and imperfections are SO useable by Him! Think about a candle holder (there's a really special one that I cannot find the info on, so I'll have to explain!!!) that's been cracked and broken. The owner puts it back together, and puts a candle into it. The light of the candle shines through the cracks, shedding light and warmth through where it couldn't shine through before.

God's the One Who puts us back together again. The candle is the Holy Spirit, shining the light of Jesus through us to the world. What a MIRACLE that is. So, I try not to despise those things in my life anymore, but turn them over to the Father, so He can use them to shed His light into others' lives. And to not give Satan something to hold over me. If it's out in the open, he can't torment me with feelings of guilt and condemnation!

I've been learning a lot. It takes a while to solidify into words, but I hope these words help you in some way. :) Be BLESSED, dear one. Know you are loved with an everlasting love, and that God does ALL things well! That includes creating YOU.

Bound to come some troubles!

(Don't forget: you can see the picture at its original size if you click on it. :) )

I know it's been a long time since I really said much about anything. Honestly? I know that there are several of you who don't agree with me about some things, and I don't want to become a stumbling block to you. The truth is, the Holy Spirit has us all at different places in our lives, learning different things - and sometimes, taking a belief out of "storage" and really examining it to see WHY we believe it is painful. But that same Spirit that's in me is in you; there's a love that cannot break. So, when I need to post something, I will. :)

Many of you are my friends on Facebook; at this moment, there's a huge outcry over the Casey Anthony verdict. Now, I didn't follow the trial; no matter the outcome of the trials, those sorts make my heart sad, and it is hard to remember Where my JOY comes from and reclaim it. But I understand that everyone watching the trial seems to not doubt her guilt.

There are so many different reasons why the outcome was what it was. The truth is, it's all in God's hands now. Don't expect the justice system to get any better; as our pastor says, it's a system OF THIS WORLD. And as such, it cannot help but be flawed. It's run by humans for humans and about humans. As we all know, being human is pretty much the example of "flawed"!

I don't know how many of you know of Rich Mullins, of his life and his music. I had a personal connection with Rich, and Kenn started his Christian life listening - devouring, almost! - all of Rich's music. If you will listen to this song, and watch the slide show, I hope and pray the peace of the One Whose love you can always, always trust in will comfort your heart and surround you.

I love you. I will always love you. Turn your eyes to Him, dear one, no matter what your situation or circumstance - He loves you more than anyone can fathom. BE BLESSED.

I find it incredibly interesting that, without my trying lately, I've got two new subscribers to the Wannabe blog! :D WELCOME! My prayer is that you're blessed by what I post, WHEN I post. :D There's a LOT I want to share, but sometimes it takes a while to get things into a cohesive, comprehensive THOUGHT. :D

ANYWAY. I've been hanging onto this forward for a while. I don't do them very often, but this one REALLY touched my heart. I think it's even more poignant now that my friend lost her husband this year.

Please leave me a comment whenever you wish, or email me at pooh0612@aol.com if you'd like to share with me privately. I consider your trust a high honor, and it's a privilege to be able to take your requests to the Throne of God! :)

On to the story.....

"She has no idea what I'm feeling," thought Sandra with a shudder. "Thanksgiving? Thankful for what?" she wondered.. "For a careless driver whose truck was hardly scratched when he rear-ended me? For an airbag that saved my life, but took my child's?"

"Good afternoon, can I help you?"

Sandra was startled by the approach of the shop clerk. "I . . . I need an arrangement," stammered Sandra.

"For Thanksgiving? I'm convinced that flowers tell stories, " she continued.. "Are you looking for something that conveys 'gratitude' this Thanksgiving?"

"Not exactly!" Sandra blurted out. "In the last five months, everything that could go wrong has gone wrong."

Sandra regretted her outburst, and was surprised when the clerk said, "I have the perfect arrangement for you."

Then the bell on the door rang, and the clerk greeted the new customer.

"Hi, Barbara, let me get your order." She excused herself and walked back to a small workroom, then quickly reappeared, carrying an arrangement of greenery, bows, and what appeared to be long-stemmed thorny roses. Except the ends of the rose stems were neatly snipped; there were no flowers.

"Do you want these in a box?" asked the clerk. Sandra watched; was this a joke? Who would want rose stems with no flowers! She waited for laughter, but neither woman laughed.

"Yes, please," Barbara replied with an appreciative smile.

"You'd think after three years of getting the special, I wouldn't be so moved by its significance, but I can feel it right here, all over again," she said, as she gently tapped her chest.

Sandra stammered, "Ah, that lady just left with . . .. uh . . .she left with no flowers!"

"That's right," said the clerk. "I cut off the flowers. That's the 'Special'. I call it the Thanksgiving Thorns Bouquet. Barbara came into the shop three years ago, feeling much as you do today," explained the clerk. " She thought she had very little to be thankful for. She had
just lost her father; the family business was failing; her son had gotten into drugs; and she was facing major surgery. That same year I had lost my husband," continued the clerk... "For the first time in my life, I had to spend the holidays alone. I had no children, no husband, no family nearby, and too much debt to allow any travel..."

"So what did you do?" asked Sandra.

"I learned to be thankful for thorns," answered the clerk quietly.


"I've always thanked God for the good things in my life and I never questioned Him why those good things happened to me, but when the bad stuff hit, I cried out, 'Why? Why me?!' It took time for me to learn that the dark times are important to our faith! I have always enjoyed the 'flowers' of my life, but it took the thorns to show me the beauty of God's comfort! You know, the Bible says that God comforts us when we're afflicted, and from His consolation we learn
to comfort others."

Sandra sucked in her breath, as she thought about what her friend had tried to tell her. "I guess the truth is I don't want comfort. I've lost a baby and I'm angry with God."

Just then someone else walked in the shop.

"Hey, Phil!" the clerk greeted the balding, rotund man.

"My wife sent me in to get our usual Thanksgiving arrangement, twelve thorny, long-stemmed stems!" laughed Phil as the clerk handed him a tissue wrapped arrangement from the refrigerator...

"Those are for your wife?" asked Sandra incredulously.

"Do you mind telling me why she wants a bouquet that looks like that?"

"Four years ago, my wife and I nearly divorced," Phil replied. "After forty years, we were in a real mess, but with the Lord's grace and guidance, we trudged through problem after problem, the Lord rescued our marriage. Jenny here (the clerk) told me she kept a vase of rose stems to remind her of what she had learned from "thorny" times. That was good enough for me. I took home some of those stems. My wife and I decided to label each one for a specific "problem" and give thanks for what that problem taught us."

As Phil paid the clerk, he said to Sandra, "I highly recommend the Special!"

"I don't know if I can be thankful for the thorns in my life" Sandra said to the clerk. "It's all too . . fresh."

"Well," the clerk replied carefully, "my experience has shown me that the thorns make the roses more precious. We treasure God's providential care more during trouble than at any other time. Remember that it was a crown of thorns that Jesus wore so we might know His love.... Don't resent the thorns."

Tears rolled down Sandra's cheeks. For the first time since the accident, she loosened her grip on her resentment. "I'll take those twelve long-stemmed thorns, please," she managed to choke out.

"I hoped you would," said the clerk gently. "I'll have them ready in a minute."

"Thank you. What do I owe you?"

"Nothing. Nothing but a promise to allow God to heal your heart... The first year's arrangement is always on me."

The clerk smiled and handed a card to Sandra. "I'll attach this card to your arrangement, but maybe you would like to read it first."

It read:

"My God, I have never thanked You for my thorns.. I have thanked You a thousand times for my roses, but never once for my thorns. Teach me the glory of the cross I bear; teach me the value of my thorns. Show me that I have climbed closer to You along the path of pain. Show me that, through my tears, the colors of Your rainbow look much more brilliant."