Here I am. :)

So sorry I've been MIA. I haven't felt really well on the days I've not been busy. Please pray that that cycle STOPS. I'd like to feel GOOD for a bit. :D


Today's post is a poem that I fell in love with in college. It hit me right where I was - I used to wear masks all the time, for fear of others' opinions of me. What I learned the year I found this poem was that everyone has fear of others. We're all in the same place - we need to be loved. Regardless of whether the author is Christian or not, I think his message SHOUTS about how we should interact with each other.


Let me know what you think. :)

Please Hear What I'm Not Saying

Don't be fooled by me.

Don't be fooled by the face I wear

For I wear a mask, a thousand masks,

Masks that I'm afraid to take off

And none of them is me.

Pretending is an art that's second nature with me,

but don't be fooled,

for God's sake don't be fooled.

I give you the impression that I'm secure,

that all is sunny and unruffled with me,

within as well as without,

that confidence is my name and coolness my game,

that the water's calm and I'm in command

and that I need no one,

but don't believe me.

My surface may be smooth but

my surface is my mask,

ever-varying and ever-concealing.

Beneath lies no complacence.

Beneath lies confusion, and fear, and aloneness.

But I hide this. I don't want anybody to know it.

I panic at the thought of my weakness exposed.

That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,

a nonchalant sophisticated facade,

to help me pretend,

to shield me from the glance that knows.

But such a glance is precisely my salvation,

my only hope, and I know it.

That is, if it is followed by acceptance,

If it is followed by love.

It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself

from my own self-built prison walls

from the barriers that I so painstakingly erect.

It's the only thing that will assure me of what I can't assure myself,

that I'm really worth something.

But I don't tell you this. I don't dare to. I'm afraid to.

I'm afraid you'll think less of me,

that you'll laugh, and your laugh would kill me.

I'm afraid that deep-down I'm nothing

and that you will see this and reject me.

So I play my game, my desperate, pretending game

With a façade of assurance without

And a trembling child within.

So begins the glittering but empty parade of Masks,

And my life becomes a front. I tell you everything that's really nothing,

and nothing of what's everything,

of what's crying within me.

So when I'm going through my routine

do not be fooled by what I'm saying.

Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying,

what I'd like to be able to say,

what for survival I need to say,but what I can't say.

I don't like hiding.

I don't like playing superficial phony games.

I want to stop playing them.

I want to be genuine and spontaneous and me

but you've got to help me.

You've got to hold out your hand

even when that's the last thing I seem to want.

Only you can wipe away from my eyes

the blank stare of the breathing dead.

Only you can call me into aliveness.

Each time you're kind, and gentle, and encouraging,

each time you try to understand because you really care,

my heart begins to grow wings --

very small wings,

but wings!

With your power to touch me into feeling

you can breathe life into me.

I want you to know that.

I want you to know how important you are to me,

how you can be a creator--an honest-to-God creator --

of the person that is me

if you choose to.

You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble,

you alone can remove my mask,

you alone can release me from the shadow-world of panic,

from my lonely prison,

if you choose to.

Please choose to.

Do not pass me by.

It will not be easy for you.

A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls.

The nearer you approach me

the blinder I may strike back.

It's irrational, but despite what the books may say about man

often I am irrational.

I fight against the very thing I cry out for.

But I am told that love is stronger than strong walls

and in this lies my hope.

Please try to beat down those walls

with firm hands but with gentle hands

for a child is very sensitive.

Who am I, you may wonder?

I am someone you know very well.

For I am every man you meet

and I am every woman you meet.

By Charles C. Finn

Beginning to gather my thoughts.... :D

Thanks, Karna. Like I never post, dear one? LOL! I blog without obligation, but I would love to be able to be a little more consistent. :::sigh:::



ANYWAY. :) Here's the jumping-off place for my thoughts.

Let's define our term. :)

Interpersonal communication: First word, "interpersonal", means "between two people". "Communication" means "a delivery of a message via both direct (the words one uses) and indirect (nonverbal, "body language", tonal delivery, etc) channels."

:D Did I lose anyone yet? In other words, interpersonal communication is something we use every time we talk to another person. To COMMUNICATE is to make a two-way street of sending and receiving information. If it's not getting through, you're not communicating! :) Does that make sense?

As humans, the indirect channels are the ones that actually deliver about 90% of our message - and BOY, if they aren't mis-interpreted half the time! The way you're standing when you say something, the vocal range you use, the eye contact you do or don't maintain - all SORTS of things go into the way we "say" things.

As Christians, it's vital that we deal with each other in love. If you use an online Bible, you can find hundred of references for the phrase "each other" - and many of the ones in the New Testament tell us to LOVE EACH OTHER - in no uncertain terms. It's the second greatest commandment, according to Jesus - the SOURCE of our love for each other. Must be pretty important, don't you think?

But HOW do we do that? One "message" at a time. :) As I continue with this topic - and it may not be every post, but be something that's definitely a thread through the next few weeks - we'll talk about the ways we're shown in Scripture to deal with each other, even in conflict. It's there, in black and white; if we choose not to hear the message, you've cut off the channel of communication with GOD!!

I pray that this topic will allow us to examine the way we deal with the important people in our lives: our spouses/significant others, if applicable; our families, our friends, our non-Christian friends, and the PEOPLE who make up the Church.

Be BLESSED, dear one! I hope you'll take this little beginning of a topic, and think about it. Examine it; I don't want anything of *my words* to take root in your heart - but if God has spoken to you through this post, don't turn off that communication!!!!