Life and Death

 There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

 a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
    a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
    a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
    a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
  a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
    a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
    a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
    a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

~Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Hello, dear friends. My heart is full of "stuff" to share with you. Some of you know what my week has been like, and some of you will have no clue at all.

First, I have to tell you - and proclaim it from the rooftops! - GOD IS GOOD. He has plans for all of us. And He works ALL things for His glory, for the good of those who love Him and are called, according to His purposes.

A week ago today, my youngest nephew, Elijah David (right), died. It was a stunning blow for our family; his family had been here a week before! It was my time to meet him. So it was incredibly difficult to think he was gone

But God had gone before us, and given us that time with him. We have wonderful, precious memories of him. And every one of us in my family has thanked God for the time we had with Elijah. No one has asked, "WHY?" I am so blessed to be a part of this family, who all have faith in the One Who holds it *all* in His hands.

Let me tell you about God's timing. On Tuesday, the day that Elijah's temporary, earthly vessel was put into the ground, my other sister had her first baby, Naomi Faith (left, obviously!). My middle sister was so excited for our baby sister; she said she'd be able to remember the 22nd as a day of joy.

It's been a difficult week, full of emotion - but also full of healing, of faith, of blessing, and of love.

And I'm sharing this with you for several reasons. First, because I must. My heart is still hurting, and it helps to talk about it. :) Second, because I know some of you have experienced a loss of some kind, also. And I want you to know that God knows your hurt. He sees the pain you still feel. And He loves you. He wants to help you grieve. Not "get over it", but turn it over to Him and let the grief be what He wants it to be, not become bitterness in your heart.

And third, because pain and loss are part of walking on this Earth. If you've not experienced a close loss yet, you will. And I want to encourage you: love Him now. Let Him grow you now. Experience how BIG God is now - and when something happens, you'll be able to trust His goodness, mercy, grace, and love without trying. You'll know He has plans for you, and that He will work it ALL for good.

Thank you for reading this. :) Thank you for your love, and for your encouragement and support. I am SO blessed to have each one of you in my life. Please continue to pray for our family, as we continue to walk through this loss together. And REJOICE with us, in the birth of Naomi!!!!

And if you need prayer, or to talk, or *anything*, please let me know! Be BLESSED, dear one. You are SO loved by the Father!!!

Sometimes in our lives....

Hello, dear ones! I know I'm very sporadic over here; I'm sorry, but I'm glad you love me enough to come check once in a while. :)

Tonight, I read Beth Moore's blog, and had to come talk to you. :) Actually, to ask you a couple of questions.

If you're over 39, do you have someone younger than you that you kind of mentor, or encourage, or love on? Do you feel like that's an important thing for you?

If you're under 39, do you have someone in your life who does any of the above for you? Do you wish you had someone to do so, if you don't presently? How do you feel about approaching someone if you'd like that kind of relationship?

The older I get, the more I know how important this kind of relationship is - one that allows us to see someone older's walk, to share ours with them. to gain insight into their understanding of God that can only come with walking with Him.

I'm really blessed; I can look back on my life and see that I've almost always had that kind of person. Sometimes, they didn't have much choice - I was best friends with their son or daughter, I was appointed to them at church, I decided I liked them and they needed me to be around. :D

I'd love to hear what you're doing, what you think, how you FEEL. I'd also love to know where God's got you right now. Are you in a place where you really wish you could just let it all out to someone? Or are you in a place where you want to be His arms for someone, to help a younger person get through some of the - well, I'm going to call them "focus" issues. :D It's all where we place our focus, isn't it?

TALK TO ME. :D I love you! I really, really think this is an important issue, just as Beth does. I'd love to hear what you have to say!

Pleasant Monday Afternoon to You!

Good afternoon! Boy, this day is FLYING by!!! (I'm really hoping this picture is bigger when I publish this blog....)

I'm sorry it was raining outside your windows, girls. :D Actually, I'm not. We haven't had rain in weeks again, so you're getting blessed! :D And I bet it's even nice. I remember New York State, Ginny. :) The rain still makes me feel so glad to have a cozy home!!! :)

ANYWAY. We had an incredibly busy weekend, and I needed most of yesterday afternoon and evening to get my brain back. Phew, I felt braindead yesterday! Today, Kenn had to take off quickly when they called and told him he'd had an early-morning assignment no one bothered to tell him about; he'll be gone all day. So, I've been working, blogging, and trying to make home a pleasant place to be again. I've got a long way to go, but every little bit helps!

Think about this: if pleasant words are a balm to the soul, I think there's something as great about our environments that affects our well-being. Of course, it's usually easier to control our homes than our TONGUES.... :D But I think that's why women really respond to calm places, to colors, and why one of our heart's desires (usually, it's not always true!) is to create a HOME. Not just a house, not just someplace to eat and sleep, but someplace that is a refuge. Someplace that is what a tired soul needs after fighting the fight.

I don't do a good job with following through a lot of times, but I DO have that desire. I've done pretty good about fighting my packrat tendencies, but I have to fight Kenn's, too, and sometimes it overwhelms me. But Mom and Dad have provided us with SUCH a wonderful place to live, I'm determined to continue to fight! :D

OK. I'm off to do some design work, and to work on my home a little. I'd love to hear from you! What are you doing? How do you feel about what I wrote? How was church? (I'll try to remember to post about our services yesterday; I just run out of words to tell you BLESSED we are, every time we go!!!)

Count your blessings, dear one. I know some of you are going through an INCREDIBLE struggle right now. My heart hurts for you. Please know I care, and I'm praying for you. And God loves you. He can take all your disappointment, anger, frustration, lost dreams, and LOVE you.

Until next post! :) YOU ARE BLESSED BEYOND MEASURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here I am. :)

So sorry I've been MIA. I haven't felt really well on the days I've not been busy. Please pray that that cycle STOPS. I'd like to feel GOOD for a bit. :D


Today's post is a poem that I fell in love with in college. It hit me right where I was - I used to wear masks all the time, for fear of others' opinions of me. What I learned the year I found this poem was that everyone has fear of others. We're all in the same place - we need to be loved. Regardless of whether the author is Christian or not, I think his message SHOUTS about how we should interact with each other.


Let me know what you think. :)

Please Hear What I'm Not Saying

Don't be fooled by me.

Don't be fooled by the face I wear

For I wear a mask, a thousand masks,

Masks that I'm afraid to take off

And none of them is me.

Pretending is an art that's second nature with me,

but don't be fooled,

for God's sake don't be fooled.

I give you the impression that I'm secure,

that all is sunny and unruffled with me,

within as well as without,

that confidence is my name and coolness my game,

that the water's calm and I'm in command

and that I need no one,

but don't believe me.

My surface may be smooth but

my surface is my mask,

ever-varying and ever-concealing.

Beneath lies no complacence.

Beneath lies confusion, and fear, and aloneness.

But I hide this. I don't want anybody to know it.

I panic at the thought of my weakness exposed.

That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,

a nonchalant sophisticated facade,

to help me pretend,

to shield me from the glance that knows.

But such a glance is precisely my salvation,

my only hope, and I know it.

That is, if it is followed by acceptance,

If it is followed by love.

It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself

from my own self-built prison walls

from the barriers that I so painstakingly erect.

It's the only thing that will assure me of what I can't assure myself,

that I'm really worth something.

But I don't tell you this. I don't dare to. I'm afraid to.

I'm afraid you'll think less of me,

that you'll laugh, and your laugh would kill me.

I'm afraid that deep-down I'm nothing

and that you will see this and reject me.

So I play my game, my desperate, pretending game

With a façade of assurance without

And a trembling child within.

So begins the glittering but empty parade of Masks,

And my life becomes a front. I tell you everything that's really nothing,

and nothing of what's everything,

of what's crying within me.

So when I'm going through my routine

do not be fooled by what I'm saying.

Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying,

what I'd like to be able to say,

what for survival I need to say,but what I can't say.

I don't like hiding.

I don't like playing superficial phony games.

I want to stop playing them.

I want to be genuine and spontaneous and me

but you've got to help me.

You've got to hold out your hand

even when that's the last thing I seem to want.

Only you can wipe away from my eyes

the blank stare of the breathing dead.

Only you can call me into aliveness.

Each time you're kind, and gentle, and encouraging,

each time you try to understand because you really care,

my heart begins to grow wings --

very small wings,

but wings!

With your power to touch me into feeling

you can breathe life into me.

I want you to know that.

I want you to know how important you are to me,

how you can be a creator--an honest-to-God creator --

of the person that is me

if you choose to.

You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble,

you alone can remove my mask,

you alone can release me from the shadow-world of panic,

from my lonely prison,

if you choose to.

Please choose to.

Do not pass me by.

It will not be easy for you.

A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls.

The nearer you approach me

the blinder I may strike back.

It's irrational, but despite what the books may say about man

often I am irrational.

I fight against the very thing I cry out for.

But I am told that love is stronger than strong walls

and in this lies my hope.

Please try to beat down those walls

with firm hands but with gentle hands

for a child is very sensitive.

Who am I, you may wonder?

I am someone you know very well.

For I am every man you meet

and I am every woman you meet.

By Charles C. Finn

Good Monday Morning!

How was your weekend? Did you get to spend time with friends and/or family? I was SUPER-busy! What IS it with weekends nowadays?!?!?! I feel like IF I get a break, it's during the WEEK sometime! CRAZY.

Anyway. :D It's MONDAY; it's time to share what you learned - and we're going to expand that a bit, I think, since there are a lot of my dear friends who either aren't churched right now, or can't always go. So, what did you learn at church, in Sunday school, or in your devotions? What is God saying to you???? What does He want you to do this week?

Kenn and I have started to read Randy Alcorn's book, HEAVEN, together; we JUST got it, and will talk about it once a week - this is something I've been wanting to do for a while! So, I started reading the introduction. Did you know, in our world, 250,000 people die EVERY DAY? They're each destined for either Heaven or Hell. It just made me start thinking - JUST that statement: what have I done to influence the choice that each person around me makes?

I've never believed in being one of those hellfire people; I firmly believe God has asked me to lead a life that SHOWS Him. I know I USED to be effective at that; I can't help but wonder how I'm doing these days. I pray that He will use this blog to touch someone's life today!!!!!

So, what else are you up to? Talk to me! I LOVE hearing from you! I want to know what God is telling you. I'm always amazed at how He can start movements one individual at a time. I want to LISTEN, and OBEY!!!!

Nope, not gone yet...! :D

Good afternoon, dear friend. Thanks for coming back and checking in. :D

Yes, my family is STILL here. God has a purpose, but sometimes, one just has to wonder.... :D They're SUPPOSED to be staying tonight in their RV if/when my brother-in-law and other niece get here, and taking off without seeing us in the morning. We'll see what God has planned!

Plans. Hopes. Dreams. Aspirations. Some days, I don't think I have any anymore. Sometimes, it feels like it's useless; like they're never going to come to fruition, so why even bother? Today is one of those days. BELIEVING that I am blessed and highly favored on these days is difficult - it's HEAD knowledge, but getting my HEART to know - well, it's a struggle.

Today is a good day for Psalm 42. I will be meditating on it today; I hope you're not in the same struggle I'm in today. But if you are, I pray this will help YOU, too. GOD IS GOOD, ALL THE TIME. Regardless of my circumstances, my outlook, or my emotions, HE IS.

Psalm 42

1 For the director of music. A maskil of the Sons of Korah.

As the deer pants for streams of water,

so my soul pants for you, O God.
2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.

When can I go and meet with God?

3 My tears have been my food day and night,

while men say to me all day long, "Where is your God?"

4 These things I remember as I pour out my soul:

how I used to go with the multitude,

leading the procession to the house of God,

with shouts of joy and thanksgiving among the festive throng.

5 Why are you downcast, O my soul?

Why so disturbed within me?

Put your hope in God,

for I will yet praise him,

my Savior and 6 my God.

My soul is downcast within me;

therefore I will remember you from the land of the Jordan,

the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.

7 Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls;

all your waves and breakers have swept over me.

8 By day the LORD directs his love, at night his song is with me—

a prayer to the God of my life.

9 I say to God my Rock,

"Why have you forgotten me?

Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?"

10 My bones suffer mortal agony as my foes taunt me,

saying to me all day long, "Where is your God?"

11 Why are you downcast, O my soul?

Why so disturbed within me?

Put your hope in God,

for I will yet praise him,

my Savior and my God.

Please stand by....

I'm having technical difficulties! Since Dad moved his office, I can't get online - the wireless network is giving me FITS! So, I'm on his computer to let you know that he's working on the problem today - and I'll be back to post as soon as I can. In the meantime, check out some of the new blogs I've listed on the right side!!
GOD BLESS YOU!!!!! Pray I keep my temper - I'm going CRAZY.... :D