Another few funnies! :D

I'll be writing a serious post this weekend sometime, but wanted to give you some more to smile about. :D It's IMPORTANT! "A cheerful heart doeth GOOD, like a medicine!" YOU ARE LOVED!

The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained how Elijah built the altar, put wood upon it, cut the steer in pieces, and laid it upon the altar. And then, Elijah commanded the people of God to fill four barrels of water and pour it over the altar. He had them do this four times.
"Now," said the teacher, "can anyone in the class tell me why the Lord would have Elijah pour water over the steer on the altar?"
A little girl in the back of the room started waving her hand, "I know I know!" she said, "To make the gravy!"

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LOT'S WIFE:
The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, "My Mummy looked back once, while she was driving," he
announced triumphantly "and she turned into a telephone pole!"

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GOOD SAMARITAN:
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead. She described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the drama.
Then, she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up."

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DID NOAH FISH?
A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?"
"No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms?"

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HIGHER POWER:
A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?"
One child blurted out, "Aces!"

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MOSES & THE RED SEA:
Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school. "Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then, he radioed headquarters for reinforcements. They sent
bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved."
"Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked.
"Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"

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THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD:
A Sunday school teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible, Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the verse.
Little Rick was excited about the task -- but, he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line.
On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Rickey was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly,
"The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know."

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Kids and Prayers

UNANSWERED PRAYER?
The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why.
"Well, Honey," he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages, "I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon."
"How come He doesn't do it?" she asked.

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EXPRESS PRAYER
Our son had only heard his grandfather pray at Thanksgiving, Easter and other special occasions, when he, typically, said a long prayer over the food.
One night, after a fun camp-out and fishing trip, grandfather (to our son's surprise) asked for a very brief blessing on the food.
With a gleam in his eye, our son grinned at his grandfather and said, "You don't pray so long when you're hungry, do you Grandpa?"

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TIME TO PRAY
A pastor asked a little boy if he said his prayers every night.
"Yes sir," the boy replied.
"And, do you always say them in the morning, too?" the pastor asked.
"No sir," the boy replied. "I ain't scared in the daytime."

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ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS?
When my daughter, Kelli, was 3, she and my son, Cody, would say their nightly prayers together.
As most children do, we have to bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past).
For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, "And all girls." As this soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this at the end, my curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, "Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?"
Her response, "Because we always finish our prayers by saying 'All Men'!"

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SAY A PRAYER
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away.
"Johnny, wait until we say our prayer."
"I don't have to," The boy replied.
"Of course, you do," his mother insisted.
"We say a prayer, before eating, at our house."
"That's our house," Johnny explained. "But this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook!"